Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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