I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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