she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
