ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
