Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When are your genitals available?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
