I cockslap morals
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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