He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
