4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
