My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
