so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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