She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
