oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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