I am spending my child support on dildos
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
