i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
