this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
