Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
foreskin is a definite game changer
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
