Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
