I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
organizing the empties. That sober.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize