SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
