No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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