The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i need some magic done to my vagina
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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