I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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