I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
