Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
