Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
