Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
