She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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