Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
