Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
