Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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