btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
