hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
