his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize