I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
