no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
