The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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