i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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