Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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