I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
