'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
where am i from again
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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