so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Too much gin, very little bucket
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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