i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
