You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
