We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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