Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
