ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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