I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
