Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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