New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
50% drunk capacity currently
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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