New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
