Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
