We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
