Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
