Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize