I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
time to smoke my breakfast
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
