so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
