If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
