I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize