what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize