so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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