I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
