He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We left the knife in your bed.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
