So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
